Is couples therapy necessary for healthy relationships? – Lifestyle

Pursuing therapy doesn’t imply that there is something wrong with your relationship. Rather, it demonstrates your understanding and dedication to cultivating and enhancing your connection.

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In Short

• Therapy aims at improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the relationship between partners
• Experts suggest that therapy can be beneficial even for couples in healthy relationships
• Working on it doesn’t necessarily mean there are issues

No one enters a relationship anticipating it will be fraught with difficulties, but life frequently takes unexpected turns. When challenges emerge, couples often seek therapy to revive the love and care that once defined their bond.

That’s the common understanding, isn’t it? If there’s an issue, it’s time to seek assistance.

However, during a discussion on Rhea Chakraborty’s podcast Chapter 2, Shibani Dandekar openly shared how she and Farhan Akhtar attended therapy just days after their wedding.

They got married on a Monday and were in a therapy session by Wednesday, much to their therapist’s surprise. Dandekar likened therapy to going to the gym, explaining, “You have to keep working on it.”

Does this imply that therapy is beneficial even for couples who aren’t facing specific challenges but are dedicated to nurturing a healthy relationship?

Ideal for a Healthy Relationship

Shahzeen Shivdasani, a Mumbai-based relationship expert and author, explains to India Today that ideally, couples should seek therapy when they feel their relationship isn’t functioning, have exhausted all options, and are at an impasse, but still want to salvage their connection.

Engaging with a therapist provides them the opportunity to address their issues constructively.

Therapy offers couples a non-judgmental environment to discuss their concerns with a counselor and obtain guidance on conflict resolution.

“The best time for couples counselling is before marriage. At this stage, it helps a couple identify each other’s personality traits. It also helps them understand their level of compatibility based on these traits, which will eventually help them navigate future expectations in the relationship and develop a strong bond,” adds Aarti Chawla, a Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach.

Aarti suggests that therapy can also be advantageous for healthy relationships by assisting each partner in clearing emotional clutter and learning to manage their feelings effectively.

“Sometimes they carry past baggage and stop being their authentic selves. Even if it’s not impacting the relationship, it’s definitely affecting their individual mental health. So, having a safe space to share and gain emotional strength is always advisable,” she adds.

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Dr. Samant Darshi, a consultant psychiatrist and director at Psymate, a mental health clinic in NCR, concurs that even healthy couples can gain from therapy to enhance their relationship, foster better communication, and equip themselves with strategies for handling future challenges.

Furthermore, regular check-ins can help avert misunderstandings and reinforce positive habits, ensuring the relationship remains robust and resilient over time.

Stigma Surrounding Couples Therapy

Ruchi Ruuh, a relationship counselor based in Delhi, notes that the primary stigma associated with seeking therapy is the belief that something is fundamentally broken or troubled.

People fail to view it as a means of improvement or healing. “Seeking therapy for something that isn’t working in a relationship is a sign of strength and awareness, not failure. Normalising therapy can lead to healthier relationships by creating a space for openness, empathy, and emotional intelligence,” she says.

• Even for couples who are generally healthy, seeking therapy is often perceived as an indication that they are experiencing difficulties, rather than a proactive approach to reinforcing their relationship. This misunderstanding can dissuade many from pursuing help until significant problems develop.
• In truth, therapy can serve as a powerful resource for improving communication, fostering emotional intimacy, and averting future conflicts.
• Shahzeen Shivdasani emphasizes that we live in a time when individuals tend to abandon their relationships too readily, making couples therapy a valuable option rather than a source of shame.

How Does Therapy Help?

• Couples benefit from a safe environment where they can effectively articulate their needs and feelings within the relationship.
• Therapy provides strategies for navigating common disagreements and daily conflicts.
• If trust has been compromised, couples therapy can facilitate open expression of feelings, promote resolution, and assist in rebuilding trust.
• It also tackles intimacy issues—whether they are physical, emotional, or sexual—by encouraging both partners to share their needs and find ways to address them.
• Ultimately, therapy can help couples confront life’s shared challenges, enhancing overall satisfaction in their relationship.

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Can Therapy Take a Negative Turn?

Aarti Chawla points out that therapy sessions typically have no adverse effects unless individuals are reluctant to address the underlying issues.

“Sometimes people fear change, they worry that during therapy, the therapist might suggest they change their behaviour or perception. However, therapy doesn’t require someone to change; it’s about shifting their outlook on the situation, which will eventually alter their emotional state,” she adds.

Even couples in healthy relationships may be apprehensive that therapy could reveal hidden problems or unresolved issues, or that their partner might bring up concerns that haven’t been discussed before.

Dr. Samant Darshi notes that counseling can sometimes lead to temporary discomfort as underlying issues are explored. Partners may find themselves navigating heightened emotions or conflict during sessions while tackling difficult subjects.

What to Consider Before Seeking Couples Therapy

The results of therapy can ultimately provide clarity and guide individuals toward healing, whether they choose to stay together or part ways.

“Couples should approach therapy with openness, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable. It’s essential to trust the process, be honest with yourself and your partner, and understand that progress can take time,” shares Ruchi Ruuh.

She adds that it’s also crucial to find a therapist both partners feel comfortable with and to commit to the hard work required to make lasting changes.

As per the expert, beyond therapy, maintaining a healthy relationship requires continuous effort.

Key practices include regular, open communication, setting and respecting boundaries, prioritising quality time together, practising empathy and appreciation, and addressing conflicts early before they escalate.

Maintaining individuality, pursuing shared goals, and being mindful of each other’s emotional needs also play crucial roles in fostering long-term relationship health.

Remember that a relationship involves two people coming from different backgrounds, cultures, and upbringings, with separate interests and experiences. So, it’s important for them to work on individual triggers and insecurities before they commit to a relationship.

Self-discovery and exploration can help foster a healthy relationship. Even if there are no issues, putting in that extra effort never hurts.

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